1. Fixed alarming color of ladybugs from red with black spots to pink with yellow spots so that they look more ladylike.
2. Fixed problem of June bugs also appearing in May and July.
3. Removed common bug from rug and replaced it with Egyptian scarab beetle named Cleopatra. Rug is now much more interesting.
4. Banned jitterbug from all downtown dance halls and replaced it with Viennese waltz. Dance halls are now no longer crowded with riff-raff and are consequently much more refined.
5. Deleted ridiculous "racing stripe" paint effect from neighbor's Volkswagen Bug to avoid the embarrassing occurrence of passersby thinking that the wretched, disfigured vehicle belongs to me when I'm outside in the garden poisoning sparrows.
