Most of Boston's furniture retailers are currently presenting free 26" HDTVs to any customers who purchase a mattress or sofa. I was sorely tempted but I already have seventeen 26" HDTVs from when I refitted my living room, installed new kitchen cabinets, poured fresh concrete in the garage, bought more life insurance, creosoted the garden fence again, and so on.
I asked the store manager if he would be willing to offer me a free 3" FM radio instead of the free 26" HDTV, but he told me 3" FM radios were far too valuable to simply give away for nothing. I quite liked the look of the inflatable seat cushion in his office, but apparently I had to acquire an entire bedroom suite-set to quality for that special gift. What about a free rubber duck for my bath, then? Still no deal.
In the end I walked away empty-handed. I really do need some more sticks of furniture for my den and study extensions, but I desperately don't want yet another 26" HDTV on my hands and so not buying anything was my only option. Of course, I could tell the salesman not to include the free 26" HDTV in my order, but you just know the damn thing would be shrink-wrapped to my stuff when the delivery van pulled up.
Ownership of so many televisions could easily lure an unwary person into leading a lethargic Thomas Jerome Newton lifestyle, which is a miserably modern fate that I dearly wish to avoid. Consequently, I am re-purposing all my unwanted 26" HDTVs as protective floor coverings for when I'm re-decorating; sort of LCD tarpaulins that can replace those fast disappearing newspapers.
