I was going to begin today's blog entry with a quote from the German philosopher Emmanual Kant, but I don't think I will now since I flicked through all his works this morning and discovered that he hasn't quoted me once! Call me over sensitive, but I think philosophy should be a "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" kind of intellectual discipline. Apparently not. So that's the last time I bring Critique of Pure Reason on vacation with me.
Meanwhile, I am re-entering the fray at work by designing an entirely new pack of Tarot Cards for one of my hippy-dippy clients. Here is an interesting list of the cards I have completed so far:
1. The Stupid Fool - This card usually represents the genre of person who will be having their fortune told and will believe every word of it. Reversed: A stupid fool is easily parted with his money
2. The Scorned Woman - Look out!! This card signifies that your life will become a living hell for the next three weeks. It is always reversed.
3. The Seven of Cigarettes - Obviously you smoke too much and should consider quitting. Reversed: Pot is illegal and the Gods frown upon it, as do I. Please remove yourself and that horrible substance my interestingly decorated caravan at one. And please try to avoid knocking the crystal ball over as you leave.
4. Death Decides Not To Take A Holiday - This card actually means the same as the original Death card in the tarot pack; I just like the name a lot more. And the picture on the card is better too. Reversed: Death goes on a walking tour of the Swiss Alps wearing uncomfortable shoes.
5. The Five of Computers - Everything is going to break. You will not be able to connect to the internet. Perhaps you should consider upgrading your equipment. Reversed: Spam.
That's all I have so far. Obviously you can't really tell an accurate fortune with only five cards, but then most people's lives are pretty much the same. Anyway, if you do go and see a fortune teller, here is quick tip: Have your cards read but don't pay. You can justify not paying by pointing out that the clairvoyant did not know that you were not going to pay, and therefore can't be very good.
