"Practice social distancing," an epidemiological edict reminiscent of my musical tutor's persistent demand that I practice the scales of the piano, current domestic quarantine situations being an ideal opportunity to practice both at the same time. Although one end of a piano is only about five feet away from the other, so I imagine performance of compositions for four hands are out of the question. C-sharp could easily catch Coronavirus from B-flat by virtue of its unsafe proximity. At least that's how I recall the opposing notational poles of a piano keyboard, not having practiced playing the instrument for many years (and only very irregularly back when I had a tutor, hence his constant hectoring).
But that is mere idle reverie. Obviously human life is more important than hammering away at the works of Chopin, so I practice social distancing with great application. By standing exactly six feet away from the coat stand in my hallway, I am able to memorize the amount of space between it and I, then remain that mental measurement apart from other people when walking abroad or buying wine at the liquor store. Having done this for several weeks, I now have a great eye for distances provided they are divisible or multipliable by six. If I don't think the distance is not a variable of six I'll say "about half a dozen" or "roughly three dozen." Such superficial estimations not only seem to cover most spatial queries, but are also useful practice for making lazy generalizations in other scenarios too.
Alas, my fellow citizens are not as diligent as I when social distancing, many of them happy to wander within four feet of others, sometimes just three feet or even only one-fifth of a dozen. I can't believe such potentially deadly encroachments are made on purpose or are due to willful ignorance. They are undoubtedly the result of cash-strapped consumers innocently purchasing fake, truncated yardsticks manufactured in China. So I ask, when will the unconscionable practice of importing cheap Chinese goods into this country finally be banned? Surely people are willing to pay an extra $4.28 per yardstick for an American-made product, at least in practice, if it means we can all accurately exercise our six-foot social distancing.
