Today I'm wearing office camouflage: a charcoal suit with a light blue shirt instead of the jungle motley worn by soldiers in combat. There will be no policy of appeasement practiced by me this week.
I shall conceal myself in the conference room, invisible to my foes, then leap out and ambush their new business ideas. Then machine gun the last pockets of resistance with a highlighted bullet list on a PowerPoint chart.
Perhaps I'll even paint my face in corporate beige to blend in with the furniture and walls.
Honestly, I wanted to avoid such guerrilla warfare with interdepartmental memorandum diplomacy and new server password sanctions. Alas, that tinpot Kim Jong-un in the enemy cubicle continues to pursue with his dangerous workflow program.
Whatever happened to tenth-floor hegemony? I can already hear the fife and drums of a pinstriped army echoing through the inter-office paging system. The shadow of war has fallen across the water cooler. But don't worry, it will all be over by rush hour.
