Three times have I witnessed female colleagues from my office reduced to inconsolable grief after visiting a hairdresser at lunch.
Unable to concentrate on the trivial tasks of the working day while their fringes are lopsided or with too much taken off the back, hour-long emergency restyling sessions commence in the bathroom with Stella from accounting. Alas, nothing can be done and so the female colleagues flee their desks in despair and go home early.
Alas, nothing can be done and so these disastrously coiffeured female colleagues flee the reception desk in despair and go home early. I specify 'reception desk' because the female colleague in question is always our recently hired young receptionist.
So it's all for the best, really. After all, no efficient office lobby should echo with the sound of uncontrollable sobs. No client's valuable call should be accidentally dropped by a weeping and croaking operator who cannot focus on the job at hand.
Some of my more conservative colleagues suggest that such unprofessional shenanigans are grounds for dismissal, but mine is actually a sympathetic voice at the water cooler for the following reason.
A young woman usually gets her hair done in the middle of the day because she has an important date in the evening, and the success or failure of this date can have grave consequences for the young woman's well-being for weeks to come. So, as someone who believes a happy worker is a good worker, I feel it is in the company's best interests that the date concludes with the promise of romance, howsoever misguided or star-crossed it may eventually prove to be.
This is why, to adequately prepare for their evening trysts, I advocate giving female receptionists under the age of twenty-five the entire day off. Then maybe Stella from accounting will finally be able to get those spreadsheets done instead of playing Miss Lonelyhearts all afternoon.
In fact, I'll agree to anything if it means I can avoid listening to that pitiful sniffling on the intercom.
