The Mystery of the Tedious Television Personality

I am very skeptical about Skepticism. Professional skeptics, also known as "experts," are far too pleased with themselves to be believable. Usually appearing on Public Television in preposterously over-sized and bizarrely patterned knitwear, they grin smugly into the camera while mocking amateur footage of paranormal activity, apparently unaware that the comb-over hairstyle they invariably sport is even more worthy of debunking than clairvoyance and crop circles combined. Skeptics buttress their interminable diatribes against the imagination with reams upon reams of scientific data, despite the indisputable fact that scientific data is about as reliable as a UFO flight pattern. Ultimately, of course, we can say without a scintilla doubt that Skeptics are just downright boring. And any opinion held by people that boring must plainly be wrong, no matter how sane and rational it may seem to be after years of rigorous examination.