I recently managed to identify three important and hitherto oft ignored instances of "peace and quiet," and consequently I have decided to list them below for your convenience, thus:
Instance A: The Silence of the Grave With Nobody In It.
Contrary to popular cemeterial opinion, an empty grave is much quieter than a grave with somebody entombed within it, mostly because there will be no scratching noises on the coffin lid when the "corpse" awakens and discovers - with mounting, indescribable terror - that he or she has been buried alive. Neither will the all-devouring Conqueror Worm find rich harvest in the shroud of the dead, for he feasts not with with dainty table manners, etc.
Instance B: The Last of the Mohicans is Stealthily Stalking His Prey But - Oh No! - He Accidentally Steps on a Twig
Obviously this scenario is pretty damn quiet until our adventurously coiffed friend puts his foot in it, literally.
Instance C: There Is No-One In the Immediate Vicinity Berating the Atmosphere With Their Tedious and Banal Opinions Concerning Michael Jackson's Life and Death
This is perhaps the rarest and most precious form of peace and quiet. Truly blessed is he who experiences such a tranquil oasis of heavenly silence.
