I've been helping King Kong with his new Facebook page. Alas, no matter how far my camera zooms out, I simply can't make his enormous head fit into the tiny space Facebook provides for member's headshots. I suppose we're going to be forced to compromise and just use a close-up of his eye or something, which I probably all for the best, since that way no potential 'friends" will realise that he's actually a giant ape. Fortunately, the rest of Kong's page is relatively easy to fill out.
Likes: scantily-clad silent movie stars; Skull Island; being left alone; Mantovani Orchestra; the novels of Edgar Rice Burroughs.
Dislikes: aeroplanes; other guys; Woody Allen movies.
However, we did get into a bit of an argument concerning his relationship status. I told him that I didn't think kidnapping Fay Wray and then climbing to the top of the Empire State Building with the screaming starlet clutched in his massive hairy hand really counted as being "in a relationship" with her. Predictably, the stubborn ape disagreed and began beating his chest with his fists and howling.
If you're just going to behave like a beast of the field all the time, I told him, then I'm not going to show you how to add all these other cool applications to your Facebook page. Luckily that ominous prospect really shut him up and he's been a good little monkey ever since.
