Of the five people we will meet in Heaven, I think we can all relax in the certain knowledge that none of them will be the sort of oleaginous pantywaist who writes books like "The Five People People You Will Meet In Heaven."
I don't mean to imply that such authors are inexorably damned to an eldritch eternity of fiery pitchfork inflicted agony in the deepest pits of Hell, of course, just that there is undoubtedly an especially tedious parking lot in Purgatory reserved for the ponderous aggregation of these prolific hacks.
Their works, however, will surely be required reading in Beelzebub's book club.
