Election Day 2020 and there were no long lines at my liquor cabinet. I arrived, poured myself a drink, then sat down at my bar and drank it. After draining the glass, I left, my rights to having a drink being fully exercised. One citizen, one drink. God bless America. The whole process was very easy and I encountered no problems at all. Or so I thought.
Apparently, there is to be a recount concerning claims I consumed more than my allotted two drinks. Despite the overwhelming evidence of only a single glass on my counter top, it seems Antifa activists shrieked that I secretly drank all the booze myself to prevent others from imbibing, while hard-right white supremacist factions denounced me as dark rum-loving progressive partial to mixed drinks and unAmerican tropical cocktails.
From the fringe came yet more accusations. The Greens said my drink of choice was not distilled from sustainable sources, and the Libertarians declared that I should have made a stand for freedom by drinking lighter fluid if I so wished.
None of that is true, of course. I just sat down alone with a small tumbler full of Fernet Branca. God knows I needed to wash the foul taste of twenty-first century Presidential politics out of my mouth.
